October 2008

Newsletter, October '08.

New line being taken by airport security.

Leaving from Heathrow, Terminal 2 for NZ a few days ago was something of a challenge.  Heathrow has taken over from Los Angeles as being the worst airport in the world (that I use anyway)- more than an hour just to get through security- NOT including queueing time.

Check-in was no problem- sure I was a bit overweight on account of Margate sand secreted in the private little places of an Octopus and Ray- even after leaving some of it on Paul and Natalie Reynold's kitchen floor during an urgent re-pack.  My allowance is 40kgms but Lufthansa let me through with two bags of 24kgms and 23kgms respectively, plus two up-to-the-max carry-ons, didn't even blink.  Lucky, as usually they don't squeal until I'm more than 3kgms over on either bag- then even if it's only by 100gms, require payment for everything over 40- probably by the theory that they've just made an enemy anyway, so might as well make it worth their while.  I think this 3kgm/bag margin is the industry standard, haven't yet ever been caught out by relying on it.

Security wasn't a clear run however.  On the first try, my belt bag and main carry on cleared immediately but the computer bag didn't.  This has kite stuff rather than a computer in it of course, because computer bags, like duty free bags, are invisible as far as one-carry-on-per-passenger rules are concerned.  My sunscreen container (which was nearly empty anyway) was declared to be "capable of holding more than 100ml".  I don't think so; it's a flat skinny type bottle, made to look big so as to sell better, but they had the guns, so I folded after only 5 or 10 minutes of 'discussion'- must be losing my grip.  They then took unbending exception to a pilot kite line and bits of other line I use for re-bridling.  Their rationale was that such line could be used for restraining people so is not allowed in cabin baggage.  Pointing out that bag straps, belts, braces, pantyhose and even the plane's seat belts are all far superior restraint devices made no impression at all.  Just like at OSH infested kite festivals, 'security' like 'safety' doesn't run on facts or logic it seems and cares not a toss for consistency.  Rather than confiscating my lines they eventually allowed me to go back and check this bag in as well.  There was, however, a 'moment' just as we had threaded the security system in reverse when I said to my already disgruntled escort- "oh dear, we forgot to retrieve my sunscreen from your bin- we'll have to go back and do it all over again"- which we then did.

So, feeling quite gruntled by this minor victory, I checked the computer bag through to NZ and confidently headed back through security- but to a different set of operators this time.  No, things were not OK.  This time I apparently had a "suspicious cellphone" hidden somewhere in my belt bag.  After an interminable wait, finally I was ordered to unpack it completely- no, they couldn't operate the zips themselves, because "you might be setting us up".  After 15 minutes of repeated re-passes through the x ray machine, which was apparently still showing a non-existent cell phone, they gave up.  I was then allowed to move on- less a few minor odds and sods that somehow disappeared during the process, but with my cigarette lighter and needles which didn't worry them at all.  Neither, this time, did spare bits of kite line in the front pouch.  A year or two ago I lost my favourite scissors, only to find them again slipped in behind the belt bag's lining- after 100's of security X-ray inspections without them having been noticed.  I could have told them this, but uncharacteristically refrained.  As I said before; losing my grip I reckon.

Unfortunately, kite fliers are increasingly being pulled up for carrying kite lines in their carry-ons.  No Limits have had this happen, and the Indonesian delegation to Dieppe this year had all their Spectra/Dyneema flying lines confiscated- a significant cost.

On the other hand, I had all my main flying lines in my computer bag going in to Heathrow for this last set of festivals- 5kgms of them- and never a peep. 

Wait a minute though, inconsistency is a great way to make security measures more effective- just like having sentries pass by at random times rather than predictable intervals- but why do I not believe that they're being this clever?

Peter Lynn, Ashburton NZ, Sept 28th '08